HR Dilemma

Fake-project-managers,wannabe-programmers etc. blah-blah-blah they’re called
HR Dilemma.

In the murky past (college-days) one of my first-machine-problems (programming-lessons) was to program the fibonacci number sequence, which was quite mind-boggling. For me personally tests kill me, whether it is an IQ test or a ‘programming-exam’ (you can imagine how my college experience must have been).

I’m not an expert, but i wouldn’t call myself a total newbie. I’ve learned a lot and I have to agree with Jett Atwood who said:

“I am disturbed and appalled that any so-called
programmer would apply for a job without being able to
write the simplest of programs “.

I do not patronize certification (like java certification, zend etc).
I prefer the real-stuff I think to solve the issue of prankster-applicants (con-artists) even those who are applying for top level positions should take practical
exams to spare the HR-Dilemma . =P padded resumes — they all suck!

To end this rants, here’s a quote from john kegel:

“A surprisingly large fraction of applicants, even those with masters’
degrees and PhDs in computer science, fail during interviews when asked to
carry out basic programming tasks”

There’s just too many con-artists in this planet. tsk tsk.

Work and Management Douche style

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having a retarded co-worker, We need them and they need us,and we can’t have the best of both worlds theyre always & will always be in existent for the rest of our fucking lives.commensalism or parasitism ? I dont know . I have been working for about 4+ yrs now and these horrible people should die,you get the idea? When you start working somewhere for awhile you start to notice there are people that piss the hell out of you and what could go wrong?

Fucking hell…

Tell tale signs that you have a douchetarded co-worker

1. Backstabber
The backstabber had to bite someone once and be damned if he wasn’t hungry an hour later for talking bullshit.And the award for the best traitor goes to the Backstabber. (applause-emoticon-goes-here)

2. Storyteller
It appears that he always had a similar experience or story to tell.Stupid!

3. Leech AKA Mr-I-know-everything
All merit goes to the leech or you will die. Even If you work harder like all night long with buggy eyes
you get paid less because the leech gets it. capische ? The sad part is he always win because hes allied with the Backstabber.

The list is not complete and you haven’t seen the worst of worst co-worker yet,
trust me.

No actual a-hole employee was harmed in the making of this rantarded post Which is actually a real shame because let’s face it; They’re mostly all a bunch of asswipes with no hope for the future.

Which glory hole do you work at?

Note:

With Carbon Dating, you can figure out how old something is really accurately like how long have you been burnout with work. ROFL

Annoying Boss

One of the things I find most annoying beside littering, second-hand-smoke & programmer-wannabe
are the people known as “know-it-all-project-manager” .

My Top Four Most Annoying Project Managers

1.Mr.ColorCoding
->The fact that his resume is 5 pages long,he’s full of sh!t.
->He doesnt know the contrasting stuff between “.ini” and “.exe” file
->He always have a lifestory to tell from non-fiction to fiction blah-blah
->Syntax Highlighting are used by real-programmers
the term colorcoding is exclusive for Mr.ColorCoding.

*Syntax highlighting is a feature of some text editors that displays
text—especially source code—in different colors and fonts according to the category of terms.(excerpt from wiki)

2.Ms.Colspan
->She doesn’t know what a loop construct is(for and while)

3.Mr.Html
->He doesn’t know how to code. enough said.

4.Mr.Shrek
->He is a good programmer but then his managing style is equivalent to zero less than the planck length (Lol) therefore this guy is a total-douchebag .
->He smellslikeshit!Lol
->A very nasty and barbaric boss, tend to shouts at people.

5.Mr.Shout
->Talk shit lame-ass-wipe-boss
->He is the tarzan to luciano pavarroti , need I say more?
->very close to Mr.Colorcoding

The Leadership Test: Are You a Bad Boss?
By Jessica Groach
Learning & Life Columnist
A 2001 Gallup poll says the #1 reason people leave their jobs is bad
bosses.
Are you one of them?

Leadership Test
Test your leadership style by answering these questions as honestly as
possible:
1.. Have you ever criticized an employee in public?
2.. Do you ever take credit for employees’ work?
3.. Do you subconsciously reward your favorite employees, or punish your least favorites?
4.. Are you hesitant to relinquish projects to your employees?
5.. Do you constantly check their work for quality?
6.. Do you expect your employees to do what they’re asked, without question?
7.. Are your employees afraid of you?
8.. Do you communicate with your staff through e-mail?
9.. Do you avoid knowing your employees personally?
10.. Are you hesitant to ask for feedback from your staff?
If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, we hate to break it to you, but you might be a bad boss.Become a Better Leader As Theodore Roosevelt once said of leadership, “The leader works in theopen, and the boss in covert. The leader leads, and the boss drives.” Your leadership style may need some work, but leadership isn’t born, it’s made. Today, many management programs and professional associations offer leadership courses that help managers become good leaders, and good coaches.

Leadership courses help managers to develop good communication skills, so that they can effectively communicate their vision, mission, and expectations to their staffs. Programs like these instruct participants in improving listening skills, resolving disciplinary and performance issues, accepting criticism, public speaking, acknowledging and rewarding good work, delegating tasks, and building successful teams.So step out of the driver’s seat and start leading. Your team just might follow you.

http://www.learningandlife.com/career-tips/the-leadership-test-are-you-
a-bad-boss.php

porting software

OK, I have to admit I am not well experience with porting software applications from one language to another ,and to be honest inspite of my lack of jittery-skills I’m very much thrilled to see projects ported from one machine to another. (The impressive MONO port of .NET and stuff.)

Maybe it is nostalgic memories (college days) ,writing mini application of foxpro
programs and porting it to cobol and vice versa etc. =p

Porting applications is a big challenge for every software developer and to share my
indebted experience my most recent side project was porting a point of sale application
written in foxpro to php and mysql . I tell you , it is terrible & nice thing I have some friends to back me up LOL .

And for those developers who are very much new to this software-porting-arena

Here is my scratch-your-left-pinky-to-your-right-toe-kind-of-tips:

1.If you are porting a very large rdbms type of application learn design patterns

2.remember realistic timeline slash timeframe =p

3.create test cases

4.use versioning software for a team of 2 to 3 developers

5.do it once and do it well

6.productive-wise.use managed-programming-language

That’s it fellow geektards LOLROFL

Frigtards

With the coming of the Internet comes two breed of software programmers the real one and the fakesters.

Majority of this fakesters belongs to (sad to say) the Open source demography which is basically a breeding ground for an army of wannabe and con artists programmers most especially in the web development arena.

I decided to write a wake up call for those frigtard con artists and to help you determine quickly whether someone you’re talking to is actually a developer or not, read the following tell tale signs. lol

1. padded resumes.
claims to be proficient in different types of programming languages or after completing 3 weeks of training and obtaining a certification proclaimed himself to be a master of a new language. i've got something for you yes you conman! shame on you :p . I mean don’t bite more than you can chew.

2.script kiddies

3.can’t write a batch file/shell script on their primary OS , dont know what a batch file is.

4.attitude. have to feign interests and opinions, and then be smugly confident that your “choices” are superior to the mainstream’s AKA I-want-to-change-his-attitude-because-I’m-far-better-than-him.

5.the knowledge of the vocabulary of technical jargon is a big hollaballo lol

well that's all folks.